As of lately it has become common for that I have a weekly or bi-weekly conversation of deeper intellect with Simon a fellow writer for Snide, mostly we confer our personal theologies. Simon if you have yet to read any of his works is a devote Christian concretely grounded in his faith and I have yet am an explorer of religion and faith but currently you could call me an eclectic pagan.
However today the topic switched and it became clear that although Simon is a beyond intelligent he failed to know something as an adult male no as a fucking human being, it’s not his fault Simon like most of Americans students myself include he was robbed of a proper sex education. Beside teaching absences only education or the importance of absences till marriage, epically to pubescent teenagers fails time and time again because absences to teenagers is like getting keys to your dream car but told not to drive it or the fact that they exaggerate the failure rate of condoms .Never once throughout our sex education were we taught this most important of topics. We weren’t taught the statistics that 1 in 3 women will become a victim of sexual abuse, that yes 90% of raps happen to women but 10% happen to men, that it is not the shadow in the ally, the guy in club or the stranger on street that will likely rape you but instead chance are that it will be a friend, a family member, a teacher someone that you thought respected you as a human enough not to violate you.
The girls in my class were taught “safety” tips to prevent rape; like don’t leave drinks out in the open, consider how they dress, use the buddy system when clubbing instead they should have been teaching us I don’t know how about DON’T FUCKING RAPE!!! But once again the great American education system failed us by no properly describing what rape is really. We were taught the basics you know like if a women clearly states “No” and that no means no. We weren’t taught that a “Yes but a no or stop” throughout the event equals to a fucking no and that means fucking stop, that guilt tripping into sex is indeed rape, that a “no, no ,no, no and then a yes” is probably not really a yes. We weren’t taught the importance of discussing sex with your partner(s) and where are your boundaries. That buying your date an expensive meal is not a way to bypass the whole consent thing. That pleasure or arousal or even fucking climaxing is not consent.
They treated rape like wasn’t real like it only happens to people but not you; the truth is everyone can be rapped. It is never the victims’ survivor’s fault it’s the rapist fault always ALWAYS!!! By the time I realized that rape was real and can happen to you or me it was 2 ½ years too late. For I had blocked out the truth, that when I was 18 I was molested and rapped. The truth is I gave consent at first but I wanted to stop but he didn’t. I knew my attacker he wasn’t some faceless shadow in ally or stranger on the streets. This scene is all too real to too many fucking people. Your school forgot to tell you that the monsters are real and chances are you know them already.